Do you want money?

I had a funny thing happen at the bank yesterday!

It was not ONLY me making the linguistic mistake this time. It was the bank teller too!

After making my deposit, I wanted to get some "change" for a 50 Euro bill. I know that the French word for change is: monnaie - which looks and sounds like our English: money. But I'm thinking that's only for coins, not paper bills. I didn't want a pocket full of coins. So, not knowing really how to ask for that in anything other than "Tarzan French", you know, "Me want food!", "Me want change!" I showed him my bill and said in English, "Is it possible to get some petit..."

Anyway, he asked me in English, "Do you want some money?" Yes, I would like some money!

I got a smile when I realized that I'm not the only one making linguistic mistakes!!

Vive la France!

(PS: it IS Vive, not Viva, as I formerly thought. Thanks to blogger "Polly-Vous Francais?" for this language lesson!!)

French Gift Certificates??

Today I was at my favorite little French bistro, ummmm, no, ummmm... what do they call the catering trucks that pull up to construction sites, there's got to be an English word for that!

Ours is called: La Pitchoune, which means something like"little girl" in French - please don't quote me on this - you know how dangerous that can be, right?


Anyway, with my keen powers of observation, I've noticed other people paying her with what looks like a gift certificate coupon. And she gives a very official refund back, a "Post-it", stamped with her name, and the amount still good on the coupon!

I think, "Hmmm, interesting, she must have gone around to all the offices and offered them a discount if they would buy these coupon books. Or, maybe it's the French version of the "Entertainment" book. In either case, I need to figure out how to get one!"

WRONG!!!

I just discovered that these coupon books are given to employees, by their employer, as a "perk", and it seems to be expected, or obligitory! Hmmm... I must look into this! :)

A favorite website "Chocolate and Zuccini" puts it this way: http://chocolateandzucchini.com/archives/2005/06/le_ticket_resto.php
Yikes! I just learned that I can't eat in my office! It's prohibited under French law!? Wow!! Well, I'll just do it the French way, IGNORE that law!

Bon appetit!

Counting in French

How would YOU remember the number "four" in French???

"Quatre", pronounced: [CAT-ruh]

You guessed it: Cats have four legs!! Seriously, that's how I remember it!

Now you see why I call this language learning thing "Tarzan French"!! :)

Have a great day!

And whenever you see a cat, pray for my language study! I need all the help I can get! Thanks!

(Picture courtesy "tjflex2" on Flickr.com, to donate: www.rapsociety.com/)

French Driver's License, Take Three, Groan!!!

Well, the saga continues!!!

I just got home from a 10 day trip to Germany and Switzerland, where, by the way I kept answering everybody with "Oui" instead of "Ja" and "Merci" instead of "Danke schon". Actually, this is a good thing because it means that French is starting to reside in the front lobs of my brain, rather than buried deep in the recesses, fighting it's way out before the German and Russian that are also living there!! :)

But I digress...

Got home this morning to find the infamous "lettre" from the Prefecture, waiting in my mailbox! And guess what? I get to GO BACK TO THE PREFECTURE with ALL THE DOCUMENTS THAT I ALREADY GAVE THEM!!!!!!!!! But this time, with the photos and the self addressed, stamped envelope - which I tried to give them the first time, but they wouldn't take!!! GROAN!!

Is this not bureaucracy at it's finest???????

Plus, I also need to take a form, which was enclosed in the "lettre", which I had already printed off the Internet, filled in, and submitted on my first trip to the Prefecture, which the first lady THREW AWAY.

Can you tell I'm a bit annoyed???? Oh well, that's life in France!

By the way, I think I promised to show you a copy of my ancient German driver's license from 1986, which I've been told never expires! So, even though it doesn't look like me anymore, it's my trump card, just in case this whole adventure with exchanging my US license for a French license doesn't work out! I'm just thankful that I don't have to take the French driving test! A colleague is working on that now, studying a 150 page "Road Book", all in French, in hopes that he can pass the test on the first try!! It will be a miracle, but, miracles do happen!

French Driver's License, Take Two!

Thanks to all for asking about yesterday at the French “DMV”. It went OK, I think… but one never knows for sure. As the sign says above: Prefecture of Paris - Be Nice!!!!

I had fun anyway!! Fun? How could that be? Well…

Over the weekend I thought a lot about who I could ask to go with me. A friend from church came to mind, Arlette. She’s French, married to an American, so I thought she would be good, she would understand my predicament! And, she did! I also learned that she worked for IBM in France for many years, helping the foreigners adjusting to life in France, so she was the perfect one to ask. I’m sure I thought of her because you were praying!! Thank you!

We arrived at the Prefecture around 11:30am. No policemen were at the gate this time. Hmmm…. Interesting!

We entered the room to find 25 other people there ahead of us. Groan! We were number 08, and they were only on number 76. I sensed a long, boring wait. But, as we waited, we were close enough to the “window”, to hear a lot of interesting situations. The funniest for Arlette were the two people who asked for a listing of their “violations”. Her take on this was that if they had that many violations that they had to ask for a list, they shouldn’t be on the road! I agree! Sure put my puny little problem into perspective!

As we continued to wait, watching this very agitated French administrator gal shuffling her papers, very impatient with everything and everyone in her sphere, I said a quick prayer that by our turn, she would take her lunch break, or something. Please Lord! Sure enough, about 1pm she got up and another woman replaced her! Thank You God!! So, our turn came and we were able to calmly explain that I hadn’t understood on Friday, and would she be willing to briefly explain the process. She said THEY will write ME a letter (not the other way around!) once they “review my case”. Then I’ll have to come back with the photos and the return envelope. Oh lucky me! Another trip to the Prefecture!! I still don’t understand why she wouldn’t take those items now, to save me a trip back to the Prefecture!

I guess they just want us all to experience the “joy” of having to come to the Prefecture every day, like they do! NOT!

So, now I wait for them to send me a letter…

Thanks for praying! You’ll be the first to know when this hurdle in my French life is completed!!

PS: If for any reason this fails, I discovered that my ancient, German driver’s license might still be valid!! However, the picture is 100 years old, just makes me laugh to look at it! I’ll try to post it here sometime soon so you can get a good laugh too!

Saga of the French Driver's License...

I went to the Nice “Prefecture” today.

In "Tarzan French", prefecture means the place where French bureaucrats torture poor foreigners!

In real French, it's a governmental building where foreigners need to go to get visas, driver's licenses, etc. Every country has theirs! France is no worse than anywhere else, except no one speaks English there! I digress...



I decided to go alone, in my "Cabriolet", That's Tarzan French for my wonderful VW Golf Convertable!, armed only with my “Tarzan French”, to try to exchange my Florida driver’s license for a French license.

Feeling confident after I got through the security gate, armed with seven French policemen...

Ah hmmm... didn't anyone ever tell them that no one wants to go into this building? Why the guards? We all just want to escape from here! I suppose they are afraid that someone might go postal here. That could happen, easily. More digression, sorry!

... I found the correct desk and took my number!

When it was my turn, I submitted all the documents including six months worth of electric bills to prove that I live here, six passport size photos, officially translated Florida license and a self addressed stamped envelope (SASE)!! I was confident!

Everything was going smoothly, EXCEPT that the woman behind the glass didn't want to take my photographs nor did she want my SASE. Hmmm... oh, oh!! This is not a good sign! I've never heard of a driver's license without photos, have you?

She simply said: "Vous ecrit un lettre!"

Huh???

Hello Tarzan? What in the world does THAT mean?? What just happened????

Doesn't "Vous ecrit un lettre" mean "You write a letter"??

This makes no sense to me and she wouldn't explain further. She just waved me away.

Groan…

I did have to fill out a form, all in French, which I could read (Halleluiah!) with my name and address, so maybe they are going to send me something?? Perhaps they'll send me a letter, telling me when the paperwork has been processed and I can come back (oh lucky me!!) to give them my pictures, my SASE and some cash? I have no idea what this lovely experience will cost! It must cost something?? Something more than my time and my self-confidence! Something more than the $60 I had to fork over to the “official translator” to get the Florida license translated into French! Surely!!

So, now I wait… and ask everybody I know here, what in the world just happened???

Ah, life on the Riviera, not all it’s cracked up to be, is it? Welcome to life in a foreign country!

What Time Is It? It's BLUE!

Yesterday morning I was walking home from the bakery with my two loaves of yummy French bread, when a lady stopped me on the street and asked me something. Oh no... I didn't have a clue what she was asking! With my hands on my heart I said, "Desole, je parle un petit peu Francais." I'm sorry, I only speak a very little bit of French. She smiled, gently took my wrist and pointed to my watch! Oh, of course, she was asking for the time! Groan!!! I've learned that many times in my french classes of the past. Why can't I catch it on the street?? I must have a mental block! Why?

Well, about eight months ago I purchased a beautiful blue sofa from a local used furniture shop nearby. They were to deliver it on a certain day, in the afternoon. I was at home, waiting for them, when the phone rang! Oh no! Not the phone! Panic sets in.

It was like the commercial with the dog listening to the owner talk: blaa, blaa, blaa... Only I heard: blaa, blaa, blaa, color, blaa, blaa, blaa, color? So, I answered back in French: BLUE, BLUE!! I heard grumbling on the other end. "Color, color???" Again, I answered, BLUE! I couldn't figure out why they were asking me what color my sofa was? How odd.

A few hours later, after they delivered the sofa, shaking their heads at me, it dawned on me what had happened. They were asking something like, "Quelle heure est-il?" Which means, what time is it? "Quelle heure" is pronounced: [kell-UHR], or, to the panic stricken ear: [col-OR]!!!

So, if you ever ask me, "What time is it?", don't be surprised if I answer: BLUE!